“The journal CNS Spectrums reported in 2015 that 7.8 percent of people in the United States experienced “inappropriate, intense, or poorly controlled” anger. This was more common among adult males.”
Many people are more likely to rage than others, but anger is an emotion that many of us might be already using a bit of managing assistance. The decisions we make when upset can often haunt us, but it can be challenging to break the loop. Anger has strength — but there are healthy and unhealthy ways to handle the force, including having it dominate you and using it do something constructive.
Here is how to calm that wild inner bull:
1. Own It.
To say that you are not angry — especially when you are showing almost cartoonish physical signs of rage — does not bode well for you, your frustration target, or your blood pressure. Most people believe that acknowledging anger is the same as misbehaving upon it. That’s not accurate, and there is a vast difference between these two definitions. Admitting that you are angry about yourself or the person you are in disagreement with as kindly as possible by saying – “I confess I seem to get frustrated here. I want to fix this, and I don’t want to do anything that I regret, so I’m going to try and calm down. ” will affirm your emotions. This, in effect, will help you feel more motivated to move towards a solution, and will also reduce the frustration inside you.
2. Split This Apart.
So you are still burning up after the annual review? When you write down some of your opinions, whether with old-fashioned pen and paper or with an app, here you will obtain more insight as to how they represent your emotions as a backdrop to them. You will find out why you are upset in the meantime, and what steps you should do to push through the issue. Perhaps most significantly, placing the feelings into words will make them feel more concrete and thus more manageable — that can ultimately help them out of your mind.
3. Having it out.
As physical symptoms go, rage may look quite similar to other forms of excitement, such as anxiety or even excitation. It can help you get your frustration under control by relaxing your emotional urges, or by allowing them somewhere productive to go. Breathe slowly through several long, deep breaths. Lose the muscles by clenching and unclenching your hands, and then slowly make a turn of the neck. If you can use the energy for good instead of clocking somebody in the face, it will turn out to be a better option. And channel that rages into an action that can alleviate tension: sprinting, kickboxing, spinning, rope skipping, or even just banging your fists like a gorilla on your chest. If you are lucky with space, a primal scream can be powerful. It would help if you blew it off, instead of making the anger bog you down. Or if it falls out in the form of tears or even evil laughter, just let it go.
4. Focus on the bigger picture.
If you are still getting steamed from that conversation with your boss or the guy in line at the coffee shop’s snarky tone, it may be time to mention the stuff you are thankful for. Meditations of gratitude or just lying around and reflecting on what is right in your life will render what you are upset about seem more molehill than a mountain. You may also choose to think about the person who has wronged you, and visualize what unique challenges they might encounter. Consider the reasons they could use some understanding, and try to give it to them mentally — which can often counteract rage.
Often expressing your emotions with them can be comforting if there is a partner or loved one, you know. But be mindful that not everyone is trained to listen to your complicated feelings healthily and respectfully. Others may not be good listeners and may want to cover up your emotions. Others might seek to fuel the flames, like in a warrior match with spectators.
If somebody’s driving carelessly on the highway, here you will drive past, naturally. But if you are involved in a chronic aggressor’s toxic relationship or survivor, you will have to do what you can and decide steps to improve the circumstance. A concrete action plan with analytical objectives and the ways to get there will give you a precious sense of control, decreasing your depression, and improving your peace.
7. Be alert.
Often problems may seem to be fixed, but in the case of irritability, anxiety, or even depression, residual anger may often linger. Improving your consciousness at the time of your thoughts and emotions through your perception and the stimuli that seem to activate them will act as an early warning system for future conflict. It can also allow you to assess if your frustration is related to something underlying that could be helped by a talk to a healthcare professional.